I dont have time for a breakdown.

I think I'm hitting a quarter -life crisis.

At the grand old age of 25, I have realized that unlike my parents and the generation before, I (and a lot of my peers) don't have any life security.

I don't have career security (....or even a job?) or house security (the rental prices are rising higher than the expected change in university fees) and despite trying to get better accommodation, I get shot down at the credit checks. By which time we have already paid the extortionate agency fees of excess 200 quid.

I am feeling deflated by my expectations in life, and I can assure you that those expectations were not very high to begin with. All I wanted was to leave university, get a job that paid more than minimum wage and live somewhere I felt safe. I would have liked to have learnt to drive as well, but turns out it will cost an arm and a leg to get on the road, and once on the road you will have to sell your soul to stay on it.

But more than that, I think it the shadow cast by the high social security and mobility of the previous generation, or at least my parents - where they had slotted into solid careers of teaching and electrician/mechanics, they had bought thier first house at aged 22, had already traveled and given birth to me by the age I am now! And went on to continue to travel, give birth and produce fantastic life experiences that I find completely out of my grasp due to debt and frustrating high costs of living in one piece in the UK.

But I am bitter. And I am tainted by my still confused lack of where my ambitions and goals lie.
I have been seduced by the endless possibilities portrayed in college and university, then stunned into cowering submission when I realized that not only had I left university with such a vague idea of what I wanted to achieve, but I was unqualified to fight in the savage employment arena.

I feel like I'm running out of time, in a race I am not sure I want to be running in.... maybe I should teach.